


Morning Glow

by ThatKanraGirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Era, M/M, Marauders, Marauders era, Moony - Freeform, Music, Padfoot - Freeform, Piano, Werewolf, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 02:36:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13261836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatKanraGirl/pseuds/ThatKanraGirl
Summary: Sirius doesn't understand how Remus can be so strong through all of his strife. So he cries for him.





	Morning Glow

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this forever ago, but it's one of my favorite pieces, and I need to start branching out some more.

Sunlight broke over the horizon and poured faint rays of light into the dim window of the shrieking shack. It allowed Sirius to see the dust and fur that had accumulated over the years clearly as morning began to filter through the room. He kept watch, not quite focusing on any one thing for too long, but he found himself stopping to look at the piano every few moments. There had been a point in time where he would have thought something like a piano, an instrument of elegance and entertainment, had no business being there. Now he wondered how many times Remus had sat on the long wooden bench and had been torn from playing mid sonata as he transformed under the full moon.

Exhausted, Sirius leaned against the wall as he sat on the bed and felt his lips curl into a soft smile as he glanced beside him. He brushed the lightly dirt-matted hair from Remus’s sleeping face, tracing the outline of one of the smaller scars that decorated his strong jawline. Remus always looked so pale after the full moon. Even the warm rays of sunlight did little to bring any color to his clammy skin. Carefully, Sirius pulled the worn sheet away from Remus’s back and his smile fell. There were some minor cuts and nicks, nothing that would leave much of a scar were fresh, but the majority of what covered him had been long since healed to the best they would ever be, jagged and raised reminders that Remus thought he wasn’t good enough.

A whole year had passed since he and the other Marauders joined him on the nights of the full moon, and almost as much time since Sirius had become lucky enough to call Remus his boyfriend. It took them a while to get to that point in their friendship, to realize that they had something so much more between them, and even longer to convince Remus that he was someone worth loving, but here they were.

“Remus…” Sirius’s voice was so soft that he hadn’t been sure he had said anything at all, but the younger male didn’t stir. For five years, Sirius had been forced to watch him be carried back to the school grounds and treated in the hospital wing for his self-inflicted injuries. He could only imagine the amount of pain that wreaked havoc on his body once a month, and only begin to fathom being so of himself that he would rather cause lifelong scars on his own flesh than hurt someone he loved.

But he could, actually. He would rather die than cause his friends any pain. Still, he hated that Remus had spent so many years suffering, and not only that, but having to go it alone. At least they had the comfort of being able to endure it together now.

He startled when Remus stirred, looking at him through half-lidded eyes and a pained smile on his lips.

“You’re awake,” Sirius cooed softly and gently ran a hand through his hair. Remus made a noise that sounded as though he wanted it to be a hum in agreement but it had come out sounding more like a pained grunt. He stretched out his legs, the tired bones cracking as they released the tension from a night of wandering the castle grounds and he exhaled, slowly blinking his eyes into focus.

“You’re still here?”

“Of course. “

Remus sat up with some difficulty, his features twisting in misery as his sore muscles stretched and contracted and Sirius couldn’t help but notice that sickly sheen that rose up in his cheeks from just that small amount of movement. Still, Remus smiled. How could he smile? How could he just be okay after what his body went through once a month?

“You didn’t have to,” Remus whispered and he leaned forward, resting his head on Sirius’s shoulder. Sirius kissed his hair.

“I wanted to.”

Remus hesitated before he smiled, taking a long, somewhat labored breath and closed his eyes again.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Moony. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let you wake up alone after a full moon?”

Boyfriend. The word still made his stomach flutter and he couldn’t help the smitten grin that tugged on the corners of his lips as he heard it leave the tip of his tongue. Remus blushed as well, which only contributed to the butterflies.

“An expelled one if anyone catches you here,” Remus reminded him, but his threat fell short with the blush that scorched the tops of his ears. How could he possibly be so cute all the time? Sirius scratched his head gently.

“I’ll be gone before anyone comes. Don’t worry.” Again, Sirius’s eyes had landed on the piano. “Hey, Moony?”

“Hm?” Remus had successfully hummed that time with significantly less pain than before, but Sirius lingered on the pause in conversation for so long that he had picked up his head and gave him a quizzical look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Sirius answered quickly and put a half smile on his face, more to reassure himself than Remus. “Do you…do you still play the piano?” Amber eyes blinked at him before softening, and Remus visibly brightened at the mention of it.

“It’s been a while. I’ve been meaning to pick it up again, but I just haven’t found the time.” His features softened as he spoke, and Sirius was left baffled as he wrapped his arms around him and held him close. Their time together before he had to head back to the castle was running short; he had to make the most of it.

“Why not now?” Sirius’s voice was quiet, and he hadn’t been sure he had actually said anything at all until he felt Remus weakly tugging at the sheet. Slowly, carefully, he placed his feet on the floor and stood, and would have fell back to the bed in a fraction of the time had Sirius not jolted towards him to steady him.

“Easy, Moons,” he warned, but Remus only chuckled lightly.

“I want to play.” Remus leaned into him and a content sigh slipped through his lips. “I don’t think I can walk though.”

Sirius stood in silence and took care to wrap Remus lightly in the sheet before scooping into his arms. He kissed his forehead with the tenderness one would kiss a newborn, effectively bringing a flush to Remus’s cheeks. Blushing was a good sign, Sirius thought as he carried him all six feet to the bench and sat him down gently before joining him. He straddled the wooden seat, making certain to keep a tight hold around Remus’s waist.

Long fingers danced over the black and white keys, clearing them of the dust they had collected from lack of use. Various keys were pressed beneath the tips of Remus’s fingers as if he were testing their integrity. He played something quick, a warm up, he had called it, Sirius remembered.

“Any requests?” Remus had turned his head and offered him a strained smile – he was in pain. Of course he was. Why had he suggested anything that would make Remus hurt more than he already did? Sirius frowned.

“Remus, you don’t have to-“

“I want to.”

They shared a quick glance and Sirius faltered. The determination in Remus’s eyes made his spine stiff and his throat tight. Finally, he swallowed thickly and forced a smile unto his lips.

“Whatever you want, Remus.” There was a flash of a triumphant smile on the blond’s face before he turned his attention back to the piano, examining the keys as he thought. Then, the first quarter notes, followed by eighth notes and chords echoed off the walls.

Sirius watched with complete fascination. With every measure Remus grew more relaxed, every note seemed to sing out from his soul as he slowly rocked and moved his body to the melody. For just small piece in time, there was no pain on his face, nothing on his mind but the music that consumed him. Sirius’s lashes fluttered against his cheeks as his eyes slipped shut and he rested his head on Remus’s shoulder.

He could feel the notes rush through Remus’s veins, could hear the mental gears turning in his head as he played each memorized note. With every rest was a fresh breath, unlabored and not weighed down with the burdens he carried on his shoulders. The beautiful, haunted boy with the scars was, for only a moment, was free.

Sirius unconsciously held him tighter and he squeezed his eyes shut. He wouldn’t cry – he couldn’t. If either of them had any right to cry, it was Remus. So what of his family issues? So what if they tore him down and tried to ruin him? All of that felt like nothing in comparison to what Remus held inside. What he wouldn’t give to take it all away from him. All the pain, the suffering, the doubt and the fear…Remus Lupin was far too good for any of that, too good for this world at war. 

He startled when he heard the notes begin to skip and his wet eyes shot open. Remus’s face had gone pale again, and the toll of the full moon had begun to wear on him. Sweat beaded on his brow and his fingers shook the harder he forced himself to keep playing. The natural magic of freedom had fled. Sirius sniffed and reached out his hand, stilling him in mid note and gripping him firmly.

“Stop.” His voice came out cracked and Remus turned his gaze on him, immediately reaching his other hand to wipe his cheeks from the persistent tears that fell in spite himself.

“You’re crying.”

“I’m fine.” Sirius laced their fingers together and buried his face in his marred neck, his shoulders shaking in slight. Remus didn’t argue, only nuzzled the top of Sirius’s head and feebly ran his other hand through his hair. This was all backwards. He should be comforting Remus. He should be the one that’s wiping his tears and stroking his hair and giving him kisses as soft reminders that he’s all right and he’s not alone anymore. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. 

“I’m glad you stayed, Sirius.” Remus’s voice shook as he murmured. “It made the morning after my transformation the best it’s ever been. It made me happy.” 

Sirius picked his head up and wiped his eyes, now red and probably a little swollen, to see Remus still smiling. How was he still smiling?

“How?”

“How?” Remus echoed, as though the answer was the most logical thing in the world. “You’re here with me. You took care of me and didn’t shy away when you saw me. You kissed me and sat with me while I indulged myself without a single word of complaint.” Sirius kissed the inside of his palm as he cupped his cheek and continued. “You’re the reason I can keep smiling at the end of the day. It’s been you all along you silly git.”

Sirius felt his cheeks burn. He wasn’t worthy of such compliments, but hearing them come from Remus, he was more inclined to believe them. As long as Remus kept playing the piano, as long as Sirius got to experience that freedom with him, maybe being a little broken was all right.


End file.
